"Most of us, as a result of conditioning, have repetitious and predictable responses to the stimuli in our environment. Our reactions seem to be automatically triggered by people and circumstances, and we forget that these are still choices that we are making in every moment of our existence. We are simply making these choices unconsciously...."
is only one choice, out of the infinity of choices available in every
second, that will create happiness for you as well as for those around
you.... it will result in a form of behavior that is called 'spontaneous
right action'...the right action at the right moment. It's the right
response to every situation as it happens....that nourishes you and
everyone else who is influenced by that action." - Dr. Deepak Chopra
of us have experienced feeling embarrassed or surprised by having an
"automatic" reaction to something someone in our lives has said or
done. Hearing our friends or loved ones say something like, "I couldn't
believe it, I knew that was the wrong thing to say (or do) when I was
saying (or doing) it, but it just flew right out of my mouth!" We often
seem to believe that we simply cannot control some of our reactions to
people, places and situations that arise in our daily interactions.
there is a simple process that we can learn that will bring these
"unconscious" reactions of ours more to the level of our conscious
thought. That process is known as "pausing." Simply pausing for a
moment when we are conscious of feeling uncomfortable in any
conversation or interaction with those around us, is actually very
Stepping back for a moment, taking a breath and thinking about whether or not if what we want to say or do next will bring happiness to us and to those involved gives us back our power. Pausing will actually give us the time we need to ask in our hearts, "What is the next right thing to do, or say, in this situation? Will it bring happiness to the situation, or will it do harm?" Our hearts will always provide the correct answers.
Taking a moment to pause, take a breath and ask our hearts for guidance
is a simple discipline that we can practice the next time we find
ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. The more we practice this form
of empowerment, the more we will remember to do it in all of our daily
interactions with those we love and encounter in our world. The more
we are able to think and choose how to "respond" rather than "react" to others, the more we will actually take responsibility for our own behavior.
This profound change in our thinking can only help to improve and heal
our relationships with those around us. It will make our lives
happier, as well. Try practicing "pausing," rather than reacting, as
often as you remember to in your day for one week, and see how much
better you will feel about yourself and your relationships!